Jiah Khan’s Suicide letter which her mom found and expose it to media
“I don’t know how to
say this to you but I
might as well now as I
have nothing to lose.
I’ve already lost
everything. If you’re
reading this I might
have already left or
about to leave. I am
broken inside. You may
not have known this
but you affected me
deeply to a point where
I lost myself in loving
you. Yet you tortured
me everyday. These
days I see no light I
wake up not wanting to
wake up. There was a
time I saw my life with
you, a future with you.
But you shattered my
dreams. I feel dead
inside. I’ve never given
so much of myself to
someone or cared so
much. You returned my
love with cheating and
lies. It didn’t matter
how many gifts I gave
you or how beautiful I
looked for you. I was
scared of getting
pregnant but I gave
myself completely the
pain you have caused
me everyday has
destroyed every bit of
me, destroyed my soul.
I can’t eat or sleep or
think or function. I am
running away from
everything. The career
is not even worth it
When I first met you I
was driven, ambitious
and disciplined. Then I
fell for you, a love I
thought would bring out
the best in me. I don’t
know why destiny
brought us together.
After all the pain, the
rape, the abuse, the
torture I have seen
previously I didn’t
deserve this. I didn’t
see any love or
commitment from you.
I just became
increasingly scared that
you would hurt me
mentally or physically.
Your life was about
partying and women.
Mine was you and my
work. If I stay here I
will crave you and miss
you. So I am kissing my
10-year career and
dreams goodbye. I
never told you but I
received a message
about you. About you
cheating on me. I chose
to ignore it, decided to
trust you. You
embarrassed me. I
never went out, I never
went with anyone else.
I am a loyal person. I
never met anyone with
Karthik I just wanted
you to feel how you
make me feel
constantly. No other
woman will give you as
much as I did or love
you as much as I did. I
can write that in my
blood. Things were
looking up for me here,
but is it worth it when
you constantly feel the
pain of heartbreak
when the person you
love wants to abuse
you or threatens to hit
you or cheats on you
telling other girls they
are beautiful or throws
you out of their house
when you have no
where to go and you’ve
come to them out of
love or when they lie to
your face or they make
you chase after them in
their car. Or disrespects
their family. You never
even met my sister. I
bought your sister
presents. You tore my
soul. I have no reason
to breathe anymore. All
I wanted was love. I did
everything for you. I
was working for us. But
you were never my
partner. My future is
destroyed my
happiness snatched
away from me. I
always wished the best
for you, was ready to
invest what little
money I had in your
betterment. You never
appreciated my love,
Kicked me in the face. I
have no confidence or
self esteem left,
whatever talent
whatever ambition you
took it all away. You
destroyed my life. It
hurt me so much that I
waited for you for ten
days and you didn’t
bother buying me
The Goa trip was my
birthday present but
even after you cheated
I still spent on you. I
aborted our baby when
it hurt me deeply. You
destroyed my
Christmas and my
birthday dinner when I
came back. When I tried
my hardest to make
your birthday special.
You chose to be away
from me on Valentines
Day. You promised me
once we made it to one
year we would get
engaged. All you want in
life is partying, your
women and your selfish
motives. All I wanted
was you and my
happiness you took
both away from me. I
spent money on you
selflessly you would
throw in my face. When
I would cry for you. I
have nothing left in this
world to live for after
this. I wish you had
loved me like I loved
you. I dreamt of our
future. I dreamt of our
success. I leave this
place with nothing but
broken dreams and
empty promises. All I
want now is to go to
sleep and never wake
up again. I am nothing. I
had everything. I felt so
alone even while with
you. You made me feel
alone and vulnerable. I
am so much more than