“Sometimes I want to hold my head down and cry myself to sleep.
The things people say and the things my life do…
It hurts.”
Hello world,I am ritu- you know my name means “season” and season,well you can get the fact seasons are of several types-
But my life’s train always makes its stop at only one station- AUTUMN.
A season of dryness,another name of hurted feelings of mine.
Life has never been the same to me as it has to other people.
No enjoyment,no parties,so what remains?
Ofcourse my insecurities,my sorrows,my dumbness.
You know,I in this time being never let my smile fade,no matter whether the smile is real or fake.
I’ve always smiled.
And today I feel like Smiling really doesn’t help!
It’s just a distraction- a mere distraction from sorrows of one’s life.
I smiled just to make sure that I too would have those people with whom I would share everything,everything means like my few moments of joys,my span of sorrows,my memories,my tears and ofcourse my smile!
But Again my bad! Those people think I don’t have time for them,for their talks.
They consider themselves in the bottom of my lists,and now tell me,if everybody would think so then who would be close to me?
Now a days or maybe since childhood,I’ve been living like this only.
My only companions- my teardrops and my loneliness.
My loneliness never ever has betrayed me but now tears are on the verge of betrayal.
They’re slowly drying till they totally died.
Until some severe and serious disaster won’t strike me,I won’t get over my problems.
This was my thinking;I have this habit of crying at late nights,just to make sure that my tears won’t dry..
But from today,I think that habit got crushed by my several unsaid feelings,which did break the dam of my tears..
Today I am crying like nothing,
today I am feeling alone and the fact is I am not at all sure with the reasons!
Funny? Yeah it’s! But not for me,
I’ve no one except my tears and loneliness,
Tears were my best friend of night but from today they’re my all time partner.
I’ve always been an introvert,so as my feelings..but today
when my unsaid feelings find their way out..
They find it through TEARDROPS.
P.s.=> I really don’t fucking know that what have I written above. It’s like I am feeling so alone and writing something is only option left for me.