I don’t know why did I start writing here. It has been a long time since I have had posted anything here, but still today I couldn’t stop myself.
I am here to write about ‘Depression’. Yes, you heard it right.
Many times in life, there comes a moment when you feel like giving up on everything. You have been suffering for a long time, above all, you cannot seem to share any of your grief with anyone, not even your close ones.
You feel this empty hole in your heart which no matter how hard you try, you don’t seem to fill it up. It starts with a tiny empty hole, which further starts on increasing its size by effectively feeding on your negativity, your sorrows or whatever source it could find its negative energy from.
Today, I read about this terrible incident that took place in K-pop industry. I have been a part of K-pop for a while now; reading and watching the advancements there have always given me some sort of excitement or encouragement to live my life. Why? Because the struggle, the idols of this world go through is no joke.
To become this successful and known, many of them go through severe conditions, but the criticism never stops. This goes for anyone out there who is trying to survive in this world, either hiding or being known to the public. As people climb the ladder of success, they seem to get a lot of criticism; this criticism can either be positive which can actually help them to survive or like most of the times it becomes a deadly push to bring them down to a new world–a horrid world known as depression.
There are two types of depressed people:
- Those who can be discovered through their way of accepting the depression and negativity and hence can be given help.
- Those who after entering into depression, cannot be discovered because they live in a disguise to fool those who live around them.
First type of people, who are not capable of bearing all the pain or negativity, they have been getting from their close ones (yes, even their parents, not everyone is blessed.), or from their surroundings, begin walking on the path of destruction; they start building walls around themselves in order to get that safe feeling–they have been desiring from the start. They keep their thoughts to themselves but eventually, as depression starts to grow on them, it becomes visible on their face. How? When you see someone not being their usual cheery self when you are very much aware that how amiable they once used to be; when you see someone picking on their food, instead of eating it while completely zoning out; when you see someone who used to get engaged in any discussion or argument you have had before, only to find them being in their own created world, then just know, just know that this is the point where you need to step up and help them come out of this misery. Because you never know what would happen next. You cannot be sure of anything but just know if you or anyone won’t help, then the next thing that would come to you as a news, will not be pleasing at all.
Next type is the most dangerous one, as the people coming under this category are very hard to be found with their real self. Why? Because they seem to live their life like nothing has happened to them. They seem indifferent to the tough circumstances they have been going through; they think themselves as fighters–fighting through the tough situations all alone without needing any support or shoulder but what they don’t know is that they actually have not been fighting, but suffering from the pain, all the way from the start. But what makes them hard to get discovered by the people is the fact that they know how to hide their emotion; they wear a mask to hide their true self so that no one would be able to know about what they actually are going through. Why do they feel the need of doing this, when they could have told about this to anyone close to them? Let me tell you the reason. When depression starts to grow up on such people, they start to feel insecure about themselves.
‘What if these people start to judge me?’; ‘what if I start to get more hatred?’; ‘what if after knowing about my situations they start to laugh on my life?’–a number of what if(s) slowly begin surfacing in their mind that they eventually make themselves a mask of fake happiness and wear it to avoid all sorts of questions, that have already started contributing to the tiny hole of depression, and hence, the hole of depression grows.
Today, Jonghyun, a member of a very popular South Korean K-pop band ‘SHINee’ was found dead in his apartment. This disturbed me more than anything. He was young, hell, he was just 27. He was successful, he was popular and as it seemed to many of us, he had everything which we couldn’t have but in the end, he couldn’t survive. Why? Because he was suffering alone and when he found it hard for him to survive anymore, he decided to free himself from his grief.
To say that I am upset would be an understatement. This is not the first time, I have heard of someone committing suicide. From one of my close friend to Jonghyun, there are so many people who couldn’t share their grief with anyone and while trying to live their life that way, eventually gave up.
These people are not here anymore but it is not like depression has ended too. No, it is still here–bringing people’s mental health to the point where they are most likely to be snapped.
Such people need to hear our encouraging words about such mental issues and most importantly, depression.
You guys, depression is not something bad, it can be cured only if you decide to step up and help yourself first. You should know that you are not alone in this world, somewhere, somebody is willing to help you. Mental issues are not a joke and need to be taken seriously. Gone are those days when visiting a psychiatrist was regarded as your unstable mental state; gone are those days when only those people who seemed to have had lost themselves completely were allowed to visit a psychiatrist. This is a modern world and you have to try coming out of that hell-hole, either by yourself or by depending on someone. This someone can be your parents, friends or even a stranger who is willing to help you out in any way. Believe us when we say that we actually are willing to help; there are so many people out there who can help you with sorting out your thoughts, you just need to let your guard down and allow them to be by your side.
At last, I want to express my condolences to Kim Jong-hyun’s family and SHINee fandom for this loss.
You were an amazing person Jong-hyun. It is okay, now you are free. You don’t need to suffer any more of whatever grief you had been suffering from all alone. You will always be loved and missed by all of us. Rest in Peace and may you live a happy next-life without any difficulties.