My World of knitted words.


Which’d Inspire You


I don’t know why did I start writing here. It has been a long time since I have had posted anything here, but still today I couldn’t stop myself.

I am here to write about ‘Depression’. Yes, you heard it right.

Many times in life, there comes a moment when you feel like giving up on everything. You have been suffering for a long time, above all, you cannot seem to share any of your grief with anyone, not even your close ones.

You feel this empty hole in your heart which no matter how hard you try, you don’t seem to fill it up. It starts with a tiny empty hole, which further starts on increasing its size by effectively feeding on your negativity, your sorrows or whatever source it could find its negative energy from.

Today, I read about this terrible incident that took place in K-pop industry. I have been a part of K-pop for a while now; reading and watching the advancements there have always given me some sort of excitement or encouragement to live my life. Why? Because the struggle, the idols of this world go through is no joke.

To become this successful and known, many of them go through severe conditions, but the criticism never stops. This goes for anyone out there who is trying to survive in this world, either hiding or being known to the public. As people climb the ladder of success, they seem to get a lot of criticism; this criticism can either be positive which can actually help them to survive or like most of the times it becomes a deadly push to bring them down to a new world–a horrid world known as depression.

There are two types of depressed people:

  • ┬áThose who can be discovered through their way of accepting the depression and negativity and hence can be given help.
  • Those who after entering into depression, cannot be discovered because they live in a disguise to fool those who live around them.

First type of people, who are not capable of bearing all the pain or negativity, they have been getting from their close ones (yes, even their parents, not everyone is blessed.), or from their surroundings, begin walking on the path of destruction; they start building walls around themselves in order to get that safe feeling–they have been desiring from the start. They keep their thoughts to themselves but eventually, as depression starts to grow on them, it becomes visible on their face. How? When you see someone not being their usual cheery self when you are very much aware that how amiable they once used to be; when you see someone picking on their food, instead of eating it while completely zoning out; when you see someone who used to get engaged in any discussion or argument you have had before, only to find them being in their own created world, then just know, just know that this is the point where you need to step up and help them come out of this misery. Because you never know what would happen next. You cannot be sure of anything but just know if you or anyone won’t help, then the next thing that would come to you as a news, will not be pleasing at all.

Next type is the most dangerous one, as the people coming under this category are very hard to be found with their real self. Why? Because they seem to live their life like nothing has happened to them. They seem indifferent to the tough circumstances they have been going through; they think themselves as fighters–fighting through the tough situations all alone without needing any support or shoulder but what they don’t know is that they actually have not been fighting, but suffering from the pain, all the way from the start. But what makes them hard to get discovered by the people is the fact that they know how to hide their emotion; they wear a mask to hide their true self so that no one would be able to know about what they actually are going through. Why do they feel the need of doing this, when they could have told about this to anyone close to them? Let me tell you the reason. When depression starts to grow up on such people, they start to feel insecure about themselves.

‘What if these people start to judge me?’; ‘what if I start to get more hatred?’; ‘what if after knowing about my situations they start to laugh on my life?’–a number of what if(s) slowly begin surfacing in their mind that they eventually make themselves a mask of fake happiness and wear it to avoid all sorts of questions, that have already started contributing to the tiny hole of depression, and hence, the hole of depression grows.

Today, Jonghyun, a member of a very popular South Korean K-pop band ‘SHINee’ was found dead in his apartment. This disturbed me more than anything. He was young, hell, he was just 27. He was successful, he was popular and as it seemed to many of us, he had everything which we couldn’t have but in the end, he couldn’t survive. Why? Because he was suffering alone and when he found it hard for him to survive anymore, he decided to free himself from his grief.

To say that I am upset would be an understatement. This is not the first time, I have heard of someone committing suicide. From one of my close friend to Jonghyun, there are so many people who couldn’t share their grief with anyone and while trying to live their life that way, eventually gave up.

These people are not here anymore but it is not like depression has ended too. No, it is still here–bringing people’s mental health to the point where they are most likely to be snapped.

Such people need to hear our encouraging words about such mental issues and most importantly, depression.

You guys, depression is not something bad, it can be cured only if you decide to step up and help yourself first. You should know that you are not alone in this world, somewhere, somebody is willing to help you. Mental issues are not a joke and need to be taken seriously. Gone are those days when visiting a psychiatrist was regarded as your unstable mental state; gone are those days when only those people who seemed to have had lost themselves completely were allowed to visit a psychiatrist. This is a modern world and you have to try coming out of that hell-hole, either by yourself or by depending on someone. This someone can be your parents, friends or even a stranger who is willing to help you out in any way. Believe us when we say that we actually are willing to help; there are so many people out there who can help you with sorting out your thoughts, you just need to let your guard down and allow them to be by your side.

At last, I want to express my condolences to Kim Jong-hyun’s family and SHINee fandom for this loss.

You were an amazing person Jong-hyun. It is okay, now you are free. You don’t need to suffer any more of whatever grief you had been suffering from all alone. You will always be loved and missed by all of us. Rest in Peace and may you live a happy next-life without any difficulties.

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Featured post

How one feels when he/she would has to select one for themselves among two..Oh yes quite confusing this feeling would be for them..!
But what if you selected the one who further betrayed you..!
Who just used you for his physical urge.
THE FUCK..i know you all would say this.
But today many of us used to reject those who actually are deserving!
It hurts when a person whom you have chosen for your entire life would ready to leave you just because you're saying to his sexual desire a big "NO"..!
Is this your mistake..that the guy or gal whom you selected just because of his or her any decent quality would try to leave you just because you're insecure or say you're not able to say a big "YES" to them..!
We can find many a lot couples living a peaceful love-life..but what about those who're regretting now for their choice..yes their WRONG CHOICE.Most of us regret of not choosing the right one for ourselves..yet we know the fact too that love happens itself..not by CHOOSING..!
Come on grow up..some of us regret for not having the one THE PERFECT ONE for their life and found their choice as wrong…They regret for not choosing the other guy or girl..what if those other guy or girl would be same then..they would definitely regret again..!
Shouldn't they move on..and what if they not even in my case..i would take this REJECTION as a reward not as granted after all..LIFE ACTUALLY MAKE US LEARN..THESE NEW LESSONS RARELY!!

The word 'change' is on my mind a lot since quite some time now. People say that I have changed..
I admit that I have changed but for the better but a few of my so-called-friends do not agree…
In 8th standard,I was the shy little girl who wanted to fit in the cool crowd but ultimately got kind of bullied..
When those incidents brought up confidence within me,in 9th I was able to fight back for my rights and speak out,something I was never able to do before then…
In 10th,I became the social bee in the school, I had the popular gang which I only used to dream of in class 8th. Moving in 11th,brought a drastic change in my life.The heavy burden of studies, coachings, parents pressure and the breaking up of my gang due to change in schools/sections……
…and there is it where it all starts…
I realized people who said they won't forget to keep in touch,din't even came to meet up in the recess..
People who said that they care about you, back bitched against you to the rest of the people and people who said they loved you, couldn't care less.I think,that's when I started feeling changes in my outlook on life and society…
I'll come back on the society part later. Talking about life and people, unlike before I now very well know when they are merely just flirting with me, sugarcoating their words and I act accordingly..
When now I don't pay attention anymore to those who brags about how they had a great chat with me ? I mean, how stupid it is.. Creating a mountain from beads..But then again, people said I used to be amazing in 10th and not now..Well, back at that time I was too impractical and emotional…I used to believe in anything and everything that others said..
I should use the word 'gullible' but now, I feel I'm more practical, straight forward and mature. Now I don't wait for fairytale endings because I know how people in this cruel society be..and Are..! 8)
Talking about society,I have noticed that it does not accept you the way you are.No, I don't do drugs,I haven't drink alcohol in my life, haven't been in the disco ever and I'm gonna turn 18 in two months.
YES, people like me do exist and still the society won't accept you the way you are…
No matter whatever you do, they are gonna pinpoint you and tell out your mistakes instead of finding their own and rectifying it..
Reminds me of a line from a Selena's song:
I could't be myself in school around my so called friends.Anything I did,they had a problem and they couldn't resist the urge to make a comment on it.I was so fed up!!
I'm growing up, everyone does.I have changed, people and circumstances made me changed,but for the better.I'm just knowing the world now,and believe me if I would get a chance,I would love to become a kid all over again,where the hardest decision was to choose which color crayon to use…!

Ever wondered how did you feel when you looked your own reflection in the mirror for the first time as a kid ?
Of course, you don't. You were so small back then.Observe a child and get to know.The curiosity of who is there the other side and the happiness that gleams in the eyes when finally the mystery is solved is all what goes through the heart of the little child in the first meeting with the mirror….
But then time passes…..
You grow up as a teen and all the raging hormones overpower you.You do not like what is there in the mirror.You don't like that excess hair on the face,that fat nose, uneven chin and the pimple sprouting on the cheeks which seems bigger the longer you stare at it.You seem a bit too fat even when you are underweight and the list goes on. You go to the supermarket,surf the beauty section and get all those beauty masks and creams that came up in the advertisements.Come back home,whine about how ugly and fat you are and waste your teen life in the front of the mirror trying to look pretty and never been convinced enough…
This is what teen life of most of the girls is…Even mine too
Lack of self confidence. They are scared to even look their own reflection in the mirror always convinced,they are not good enough. That they may not be accepted in the society, that they won't find their love otherwise, that they would be consider as a geek.All this and failing to realize,BEAUTY IS IN THE EYES OF BEHOLDER AND IS ONLY SKIN DEEP. Nice quote, huh ?It's true…
You spend majority of your time thinking and caring about how you look than actually finding out your true inner self and that is what creates so much problem.Surely,people would consider the looks in the first meeting but when they actually get to know how beautiful you are from the inside, being pretty doesn't matter..
Don't mistake "Beautiful" and "Pretty".
They both are two different terms. "Pretty" means the outer appearance and "Beautiful" is the inner one, your soul,your nature..
It makes me feel sad when I see young teens not happy with their body,their face. C'mon girlies,accept yourself what you are and the world would accept you.Love yourself and the reflection you see in the mirror..
P.S. Inner appearance always weigh more than the outer one.
No no one is actually gonna like you if you are miss world or something and doing drugs and getting treatment from a specialist…
P.P.S. You are not defined by the reflection in the mirror…!
Take Care And Live Your Life By Living Like What You Really Are..AFTERALL YOUR INNER BEAUTY MATTERZ!

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